Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
