Since when is my name a synonym for head?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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