Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Randomize
