just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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