He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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