It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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