I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
It's rum buckets o'clock
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
