HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
where are my eyebrows?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
