well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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