His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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