Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
