You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
