I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
