Pregnant stripper...not hot.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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