Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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