When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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