why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
