But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
