Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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