Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
