I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
