I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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