my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize