Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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