i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
this boner is exhausting
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
