She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
