Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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