He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
