I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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