Whoa Z and x make the same sound
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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