oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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