im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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