is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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