A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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