My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
