Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
