look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
