i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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