So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
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