Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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