what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
