If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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