You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
