I look better un-naked...
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
