I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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