you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
