I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
