her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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