he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
