Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
