I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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